she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
