She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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