I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ketchup is God's man juice
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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