just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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