i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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