I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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