last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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