Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
