He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
