ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What did we do last night that was yellow?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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