A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
