I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
