Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
