I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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