Do you still have your period?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
