just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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