she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
