It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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