Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
smell my finger.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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