I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
