I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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