I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I forgot how hot balto sounded
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
