did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
