is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
