I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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