batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
