i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
