That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
