PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
