Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
