plz talk dirty to me
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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