I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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