Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
