I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
