Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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