nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
