I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
