Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Terrible idea I love it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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