In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
