There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
