Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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