just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize