where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
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