what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
