I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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