I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
