If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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