Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
