fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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