i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
