So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
