Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
